It seemed that he was stuck in a maze that rapidly lead back to the starting point... He thought it was the starting point anyway. Reality had become muddled now and his memory was hazy and blurred with that which he wanted to be true, but somewhere still knew was not. He was not mentally ill, and would not slip into the stages of diseases that would reconstruct his thoughts and memories. Delusion did not rule here, simply feeble hope which did him no good; it simply offered him a cushion on which to crash against, the pain consuming his body regardless.

This place he found himself in was as good enough the start as any. He didn't know if there was an outside, if one of the various halls that lead back into here would trace back to a familiar origin, nor did he care about such histories. His legacy was not built from the start, it was built from a point in time far from the start, which stood in as such.

His life truly didn't begin until he found this room, dark and foreboding, but not unkind or unpleasant. It did not feel like a place that anyone in their right mind would strive to take residence in, and yet it was not in any way a disconcerting or stressful area to reside in. This place to him was a blessing and a curse, and no matter how much he sometimes wished to escape it, he knew that he would always find a way back. There was no escaping the memories that were constructed in this very place.

The walls were littered with doors that lead hopelessly back into the maze. He sometimes wondered about the maze, and tried to envision the paths in his head, designing a mental image of an overhead view. In his mind each door ultimately ended up back here at the center chamber no matter what. Above each door was a television screen, but they did not play any discernible television channels. In fact most of them were simply static. A few of them were flashing colors. He often found himself glancing at a particularly bright green screen which seemed to convey happiness and joy. He wished he could have such a feeling within himself. Some of the screens were not so bright, one in particular a dark and morbid crimson which seemed to signify sadness and defeat. He wondered where his own life fell between these gauges of feeling.

In the center of the room was a three foot pedestal with two screens facing opposite directions resting on the top. Engraved into the frame of one was simply the word "You," engraved into the other was "Her." He walked over and sighed, lazily reaching out and running a hand lightly over the top of one of the monitors, taking deeper breaths as he started to pace back and forth in the room. Surveying the monitor that indicated himself he noticed that it too now radiated nothing but static. He stared into its warping sense of nonconformity, how it seemed to communicate loss and confusion, and caused feelings of regret to flare inside of him when he remembered how at a point in time the screen shone a bright gold color, radiant and beautiful. At this point in time he would notice that both of the monitors would share this insanely bright glow, and the entire room did not seem dim or sorrowful at all, but inviting and cheerful. He did not even notice the doors, or any of the other monitors through this period of time, he simply enjoyed the fact that for awhile everything seemed to be nothing short of perfect.

However, now his monitor only harbored static, and he knew what he would see when he inevitably ventured around to the other side. He didn't need to torture himself so, but he couldn't help himself from trekking over and gazing upon the realization that he was unfortunately correct, the monitor labeled "Her" emitted a wonderfully green light. This green light was the same type of light that he wanted to have, a light that he would settle for... even though he would never forget the boldness of the once relentless golden light that lived here.

Restlessly he walked around the room, taking notice of the various colors around the perimeter, wondering about all of the static screens, and how sometimes they would light up. He considered what was happening out there in the world, as some green lights deteriorated slowly into a murky dark color that dissipated into static. Sometimes slowly, and sometimes instantaneously. How a red light could turn so quickly to a green light, and how they all represented a tangled mess of corridors that would indefinitely lead back to their own respective perceptions of starting points.

Now gazing at a red monitor in a corner, he cracked a slight smile as it rapidly ascended to green. Somewhere, someone had suddenly become happy. He glanced back to his own monitor plagues with static and wondered if he would ever experience such joys again. Closing his eyes he nodded, trying to reassure himself that his quest would end in a bright and beautiful light. Perhaps not the golden light he longed for, but a green light at the least. Now he looked back to the green light in the corner and smiled more.

Walking back to the other side of the room he stared longingly into the green light of the monitor in the center of the room that did not belong to him. This light was a double-edged sword that stung his heart like nothing else in the world. Even the static on his own screen could not consume his heart, but the green light bathed it in a sense of dread. It did not match his own monitor, and therein was the reason for his pain. Somewhere she was out there, completely happy without him. He continued to stare into the light, mesmerized by it. It hurt more than anything else, and yet he was still happy, because she was happy.